It's been over 8 years since I moved to Maui to live with my Auntie Sally. Other than her hair, which is now shorter and more manageable, and her job, which she was laid off of, not much has changed. Before I start writing more, I feel like I need to give a bit of a back story. I was born and raised in southern California - 2000 miles away from my current home on the island of Maui. My family growing up primarily consisted of my relatives on my dad's side of the family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc...), my grandparents on my mom's side of the family, and my Auntie Sally. Dad's side was huge, and we were pretty close as well. There was the core family, plus their relatives who were in varying degrees of closeness, and also their friends - also in varying degrees of closeness. For a kid, it was pretty complex, and occasionally confusing.
My mother's side was much easier. There was Grandma, Grandpa, and Auntie Sally. There were other relatives to be sure, but I saw them so rarely that I would have been hard pressed to recognize them, let alone get their name right. Grandma and Grandpa were not so complex. Grandma seemed like a typical Japanese grandmother (except without an accent). She was tidy, liked plants, didn't really strike me as the hugging type, and was the bane of my existence when I was younger since her appearance usually meant my mom was going somewhere. And God forbid my mom ever leaving my side! As for Grandpa - I wasn't a big fan. He smelled because of his heavy pipe/cigar smoking, and he was a jokester... with me often being the butt of his jokes. I was definitely not close to him. In fact, I usually tried to stay far away.
Auntie Sally on the other hand - she was different. Very different. I don't know how old I was when I realized it, but the PC term nowadays is intellectually challenged. Since she was a part of the family since I was born, I didn't really think anything of it. She lived with my grandparents, would come visit at the same time as them, she would occasionally get scoldings from my parents, and was socially awkward, though I'm sure I didn't see it as a negative thing. In actuality, I didn't really see much difference between her and other people, which can be a good thing, but it also means I didn't really see all things that make her a unique individual.
I wanted to write about her for one reason: So other people can get to know her. (Subconsciously, it's probably also so I can get some pity, but hey - it's my blog. I get to do what I want to.) There are days when she drives me nuts. Actually, there are probably swaths of multiple weeks when she does, but since her quirks are relegated to the home, most people don't notice them. Her quirks also tend to be subtle enough that most people miss them completely. And every once in a long while, something happens that makes me think "Wow, if only other people could be like her."
Eight years ago I moved to Maui because I wanted a change from the city life of LA, and also because I knew Auntie Sally needed someone around to watch over her. In my coming Auntie Chronicle posts, I'll share some stories that will hopefully be entertaining, and hopefully there will be a few in there that will actually be meaningful. I'll start off with a short one:
As I noted earlier, I wasn't ever really close to Auntie Sally. I knew she was "slow", but I never knew to what extent. It really didn't seem all that bad based on my interactions with her in the past, and that's exactly what you would hear from most people who know her. So when I moved here, I didn't really know what to expect. I got a big wake-up call the first week that it was just her and me.
Milk and Eggs. That's all it was. Milk and Eggs. There might have been another item or two, but I distinctly remember being at Safeway in Kahului - my very first grocery outting with Auntie Sally - and it was a simple stop to pick up a couple staples. Milk and Eggs. At the checkout counter I realized I had forgotten something. Looking back, tt was actually probably the best mistake I could have made at the time. Standing in line at Safeway, I realized that I had left my wallet at home. Thankfully, I had Auntie Sally with me. More importantly, I had Auntie Sally's purse with me.
Looking at what we were planning to purchase, I figured the total would be small enough that I didn't have to worry about her having enough money. At the time, I probably used my phone number from California for their customer loyalty program - aka the Safeway Card. So at least they got my name right this time around. The cashier dragged our items across the glass pane, and the machine beeped our prices onto the screen. Less than $10 - no prob! I turned to Auntie Sally and let her know - "Auntie Sally, can you pay for these? I left my wallet at home - I'll pay you back later." She responded - "Oh? Yah, I think I have enough money."
I waited as she pulled the purse off her shoulder and clunked it down on the little purse table that they have there. She was slow, but that was expected - she had never been a quick-moving person, and I'm a pretty patient guy. Dig dig dig. Auntie Sally was rummaging through her overstuffed purse. She easily finds her wallet and slowly removes it, glancing around to see where she can put it down. She settled on resting it on top of her purse, at which point she began struggling with the tiny zipper that runs across the length of it. All the while, I'm casually leaning against the counter - waiting.
ZIIIIIIIP. She finally got the zipper open - and as she slowly tugs it across the teeth of her dull brown over-used (what my mom would call "ratty") wallet, the clam shell-like folds burst open with sheaves of green parchment. My mouth dropped open into a gape, and my eyes opened to twice their usual size. As her fingers began running through the bills, I could see that every single corner was printed with a nice, crisp "100" on it. I was in disbelief. In less time than it took my chin to hit the floor, my right arm shot out to grab the first Benjamin it touched, while my left simultaneously clamped the walled closed. I honestly don't recall Auntie Sally's reaction, nor do I remember the cashier's reaction. All I know is that I paid with the bill, closed the purse, picked up my groceries, and then collected the $90+ in change all while keeping a close eye on the purse. I may even have carried it to the car.
My first question? I have no idea. I just know that my main priority was to get to the car safely and lock the doors. The main contenders for what came out of my mouth after the door locks were in position would be "Oh my god - what are you doing!?" and "Why are you carrying around that much money!?" In summary, the answer I got was "Oh, I don't know how much I'm going to have to spend." Once home, I counted it. Over $2000 in cash. And yet, her explanation never changed. Auntie Sally honestly thought that there might be a day when she would go to the store and need to spend $2000. Not only that, but she had another $1000 or so stashed in the house - in case the $2000 wasn't enough.
Numbers. Not Auntie Sally's strong suit. That was 8 years ago. It took less than one before it was apparent I needed to manage her finances for her. Apparent to me that is. I've made it simple for her - she's not allowed to buy anything unless she asks for permission first. Yes - anything. Some people think that's harsh - especially those who see us at a grocery store and she has to ask if she can by oatmeal. The problem is, she doesn't understand the difference between the money it takes to buy oatmeal, and the amount it costs to purchase designer accessories.
If you don't believe me, you can test her when she walks by you at the park in her frumpy sweatpants sporting her $800 designer prescription glasses. And those glasses? They were purchased AFTER she was told to consult me before making purchases. Oh well. They'll go well with her Gucci bag.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Hidden Mickeys
One of the Maui Taiko families is going to Disney World in the next couple weeks, and of course my advice to them on their trip was - LOOK FOR HIDDEN MICKEYS!!! Haha. I'm such a nerd. Anyhoo... I'm a Disney freak. I'm for anything that brings in a healthy dose of magic in my life, even if that magic happens to be prefabricated.
Of course, by magic, I simply mean that spark of joy and wonder that you get when you experience something unexpected, or the special feeling that you get when it seems like you're in on an inside joke.
I love that Disney animators throw in references to other Disney movies and characters... like when the Genie in Aladdin pulls Sebastian out of his bag or when the Sultan has a Beast toy among his animal figurines. Maybe it's just my appreciation for small details. Or maybe I just like it when people go that extra mile and reward you for paying close attention.
Or... maybe I just need to grow up. Try telling me that sometime. My answer will probably be "Never!" Hmm... reminds me of Peter Pan... another Disney Movie! Speaking of which, if you find yourself at the Peter Pan Adventure ride in Disneyland, walk across to the Snow White ride and train your eyes on the window above the entrance area. Every 30 seconds or so, the evil queen pulls the curtains open and peers out the window. Details! Love the details!
Of course, by magic, I simply mean that spark of joy and wonder that you get when you experience something unexpected, or the special feeling that you get when it seems like you're in on an inside joke.
I love that Disney animators throw in references to other Disney movies and characters... like when the Genie in Aladdin pulls Sebastian out of his bag or when the Sultan has a Beast toy among his animal figurines. Maybe it's just my appreciation for small details. Or maybe I just like it when people go that extra mile and reward you for paying close attention.
Or... maybe I just need to grow up. Try telling me that sometime. My answer will probably be "Never!" Hmm... reminds me of Peter Pan... another Disney Movie! Speaking of which, if you find yourself at the Peter Pan Adventure ride in Disneyland, walk across to the Snow White ride and train your eyes on the window above the entrance area. Every 30 seconds or so, the evil queen pulls the curtains open and peers out the window. Details! Love the details!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Fleeting thoughts...
Impermanence is a fundamental Buddhist teaching that seems so easily understood in concept, and yet is so difficult to grasp and incorporate in life. I'm no philosopher, and I hardly ever make it in to service on Sundays, but I like to think that, in some small insignificant way, I try to incorporate Buddhism in to my every day life.
To me, impermanence is about letting go of attachment. It's about forgiveness, and it's about moving on. Also, I think it's really about ourselves - we are not permanent. We often forget that, and when we're reminded of it, or when we're forced to accept it, it can be at best an uncomfortable moment, and at worst - tortuous.
We experience impermanence in daily life. It looks at us as we drive by dilapidated buildings, it wafts into our noses in the form of a dying flower arrangement that adorns our work or living space, and it occasionally jolts us in our seats when we pass over road kill. We usually don't take a second look. Even deaths in the family seem inevitable and something we won't have to face in the near future - at least not for ourselves. It's when we lose the precious things, the ones we never thought to miss because they were always supposed to be there, that Impermanence comes and does a tango on our backside.
An acquaintance of mine was recently murdered. Brutally stabbed and left to die in the street. He was younger than me, healthy, attractive, always a lively and fun person to be around. I didn't know him well. We knew one another well enough to say hi, and we had mutual friends, but that's about it. Still, even though we weren't close personal friends, I feel a sense of loss.
He was so much to so many people, and just like that - he's gone. I don't understand. I suppose that's the point though. Life is not a simple progression. Life is... unpredictable. It can take twists and turns that no one would expect, and it can all come to an abrupt end for no rhyme or reason. The choice really is what we do with that time. Live each day like its your last. I've heard that so many times. I wonder if it will ever sink in.
Bobby - if it is true that we are judged based on how we lived our lives, then I know you're in good hands. You were always a joy to be around, and brought smiles not only to your friends, but to the faces of people who hardly even knew you. I know a few who are really devastated by your loss, and I hope they find strength in the memories that you share. Impermanence teaches us that things like this happen, however it is up to us to make sure that your loss was not in vain. If we ever find ourselves crossing paths again in this universe, or any other, I'd be honored to share your company.
To me, impermanence is about letting go of attachment. It's about forgiveness, and it's about moving on. Also, I think it's really about ourselves - we are not permanent. We often forget that, and when we're reminded of it, or when we're forced to accept it, it can be at best an uncomfortable moment, and at worst - tortuous.
We experience impermanence in daily life. It looks at us as we drive by dilapidated buildings, it wafts into our noses in the form of a dying flower arrangement that adorns our work or living space, and it occasionally jolts us in our seats when we pass over road kill. We usually don't take a second look. Even deaths in the family seem inevitable and something we won't have to face in the near future - at least not for ourselves. It's when we lose the precious things, the ones we never thought to miss because they were always supposed to be there, that Impermanence comes and does a tango on our backside.
An acquaintance of mine was recently murdered. Brutally stabbed and left to die in the street. He was younger than me, healthy, attractive, always a lively and fun person to be around. I didn't know him well. We knew one another well enough to say hi, and we had mutual friends, but that's about it. Still, even though we weren't close personal friends, I feel a sense of loss.
He was so much to so many people, and just like that - he's gone. I don't understand. I suppose that's the point though. Life is not a simple progression. Life is... unpredictable. It can take twists and turns that no one would expect, and it can all come to an abrupt end for no rhyme or reason. The choice really is what we do with that time. Live each day like its your last. I've heard that so many times. I wonder if it will ever sink in.
Bobby - if it is true that we are judged based on how we lived our lives, then I know you're in good hands. You were always a joy to be around, and brought smiles not only to your friends, but to the faces of people who hardly even knew you. I know a few who are really devastated by your loss, and I hope they find strength in the memories that you share. Impermanence teaches us that things like this happen, however it is up to us to make sure that your loss was not in vain. If we ever find ourselves crossing paths again in this universe, or any other, I'd be honored to share your company.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Unspecialness
The right place at the right time. Psychologically speaking, there must be some name for the idea that someone is always in the right place at the right time. It probably has something to do with the person NOT actually being in the right place at the right time, but rather remembering the times he/she is in the right place rather than remembering all the times she/he is not. (Pet Peeve #1: English has no unisex singular pronoun; and for those of you who make fun of Filipino's who confuse he/she, it's because in their language(s), all pronouns are unisex - so stop making fun of them!)
Actually, now that I think of it, I also have a penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time too...so I guess I have nothing more to write about other than recognizing my observation that I'm not as special as I'd like to think. haha.
Speaking of unspecialness, I need to think of a theme for this blog. As you can see, it's still Subject to Change. A taiko (Japanese drumming) blog sounds fun and intriguing, but I fear I might not have much to write about, me being an amateur and all. Hmm... actually, just writing that makes me reprimand myself for thinking that just because we're a small group on a rural island that people wouldn't find interest in it, or more importantly, that I couldn't find interest in it enough to fill out a blog.
On the other hand, does that mean I'm limiting it to taiko? What about all the other stuff going on in the world (and by "world" I mean the small spacious area located between my ears). I work at an agency that works with kids who have special needs (and I'm on a break right now, so there), there's my personal identity as a gay, Japanese American, and then there's the broader community of Maui, the Japanese Cultural Society of Maui (which I recently became president of by default... right place at right time? or wrong place at wrong time?), and of course there's the family stuff... and I have lots of stories about my Auntie that should probably be documented somewhere just because she's a riot and doesn't even know it.
Perhaps my blog will be permanently subject to change... per my whims of course. Is that an oxymoron?
In other news: this past weekend was Maui's Charity Walk. Imua Family Services raised just under $5,000 to help the Charity Walk raise over $550,000. I was a co-chair of the 12th Annual Maui Matsuri this year. The other co-chairs did most of the heavy lifting - I was happy to help out and look forward to doing more next year. Maui Taiko performed at the matsuri of course, and we also sold Teriyaki Mini-bentos. Sharon Westfall introduced Isobeyaki (mochi, grilled - w/ shoyu & togarashi, wrapped in nori). So ono - $2.00 each - sold out and the $$$ will be used to help with our Japan Trip. Perhaps more on that in a future post.
Actually, now that I think of it, I also have a penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time too...so I guess I have nothing more to write about other than recognizing my observation that I'm not as special as I'd like to think. haha.
Speaking of unspecialness, I need to think of a theme for this blog. As you can see, it's still Subject to Change. A taiko (Japanese drumming) blog sounds fun and intriguing, but I fear I might not have much to write about, me being an amateur and all. Hmm... actually, just writing that makes me reprimand myself for thinking that just because we're a small group on a rural island that people wouldn't find interest in it, or more importantly, that I couldn't find interest in it enough to fill out a blog.
On the other hand, does that mean I'm limiting it to taiko? What about all the other stuff going on in the world (and by "world" I mean the small spacious area located between my ears). I work at an agency that works with kids who have special needs (and I'm on a break right now, so there), there's my personal identity as a gay, Japanese American, and then there's the broader community of Maui, the Japanese Cultural Society of Maui (which I recently became president of by default... right place at right time? or wrong place at wrong time?), and of course there's the family stuff... and I have lots of stories about my Auntie that should probably be documented somewhere just because she's a riot and doesn't even know it.
Perhaps my blog will be permanently subject to change... per my whims of course. Is that an oxymoron?
In other news: this past weekend was Maui's Charity Walk. Imua Family Services raised just under $5,000 to help the Charity Walk raise over $550,000. I was a co-chair of the 12th Annual Maui Matsuri this year. The other co-chairs did most of the heavy lifting - I was happy to help out and look forward to doing more next year. Maui Taiko performed at the matsuri of course, and we also sold Teriyaki Mini-bentos. Sharon Westfall introduced Isobeyaki (mochi, grilled - w/ shoyu & togarashi, wrapped in nori). So ono - $2.00 each - sold out and the $$$ will be used to help with our Japan Trip. Perhaps more on that in a future post.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
POTUS supports Gay Marriage
Wow! Today President Obama announced publically that he supports gay marriage. Many of my friends were happy to hear this, though there were a few that were rather miffed. Those who expressed their displeasure seemed to be the Republicans who were more concerned about what this meant for Mitt Romney's chances at the presidency than anything else. I know I have a number of friends who support "traditional marriage" and oppose "marriage equality" - I didn't hear much from them.
For those who honestly believe that marriage between two people of the same gender is wrong for religious reasons, I completely understand. If I was under the impression that a change to a certain policy would result in the moral corruption of my children, hey - I'd be a bit concerned too. There's not really much arguing with that. You gotta do what you gotta do, and these individuals will either have an experience that changes their opinions - whether that be a change in church policy or a personal revelation, or they'll go on for the rest of their lives just as they always have - as decent human beings who follow their beliefs as they understand them. I certainly don't agree with them, but I respect their convictions.
On the other hand, I kind of feel sorry for my friends who happen to be gay Republicans and are determined to not enjoy today's news. It reflects poorly on the current state of our political system when individuals can't even be happy that they're a small step closer to equality. On my 18th birthday - my senior year in highschool - Ellen DeGeneres' character came out in her sitcom. I had just come home from sushi with my parents and was watching the show with my mom. I nearly crapped my pants. It didn't spark a conversation, but it definitely signaled to me that homosexuality was beginning to be more accepted by society. I was a happy, albeit mildly freaked out, camper.
Imagine how much more inspired a young gay person is today knowing that their president is beyond "evolving" and has finally come around publically to support gay marriage. I would think there are more than a few out there who feel much more validated. Most of them could probably care less about the fact that he's minced words on the subject before, or that he happens to be liberal, or a Democrat.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. For the first time in history, the President of the United States of America told me - yes, I think we should treat you the same as everyone else. Enjoy it for what it is. :)
For those who honestly believe that marriage between two people of the same gender is wrong for religious reasons, I completely understand. If I was under the impression that a change to a certain policy would result in the moral corruption of my children, hey - I'd be a bit concerned too. There's not really much arguing with that. You gotta do what you gotta do, and these individuals will either have an experience that changes their opinions - whether that be a change in church policy or a personal revelation, or they'll go on for the rest of their lives just as they always have - as decent human beings who follow their beliefs as they understand them. I certainly don't agree with them, but I respect their convictions.
On the other hand, I kind of feel sorry for my friends who happen to be gay Republicans and are determined to not enjoy today's news. It reflects poorly on the current state of our political system when individuals can't even be happy that they're a small step closer to equality. On my 18th birthday - my senior year in highschool - Ellen DeGeneres' character came out in her sitcom. I had just come home from sushi with my parents and was watching the show with my mom. I nearly crapped my pants. It didn't spark a conversation, but it definitely signaled to me that homosexuality was beginning to be more accepted by society. I was a happy, albeit mildly freaked out, camper.
Imagine how much more inspired a young gay person is today knowing that their president is beyond "evolving" and has finally come around publically to support gay marriage. I would think there are more than a few out there who feel much more validated. Most of them could probably care less about the fact that he's minced words on the subject before, or that he happens to be liberal, or a Democrat.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. For the first time in history, the President of the United States of America told me - yes, I think we should treat you the same as everyone else. Enjoy it for what it is. :)
Monday, May 7, 2012
I think I started a blog elsewhere. Actually, several elsewheres. We'll see if this one is the one that sticks. I have no clue what I'm going to use this blog for. I'll probably give you some insight into what I eat, what I like to do, and where I like to go.
Let's start of with a little about me:
Location: Kahului, Maui, Hawaii
Hobbies: Taiko (Maui Taiko)
Interests: a little bit of everything
Food: Yes please!
Work: Imua Family Services
Community stuff: Maui Matsuri, Japanese Cultural Society of Maui
This weekend, you may want to check out Maui's annual Maui Matsuri. Matsuri translates into "festival". Maui Matsuri is the largest Japanese Cultural festival on the island. It kicks off our Obon season... which would take a whole other blog to explain. It would take another one to explain why Maui even has a Japanese cultural festival!
Short versions: Obon is when Japanese Buddhists honor their ancestor. There's a whole story about a monk who saw a dead person and it made him want to dance or something like that, but it's basically a time for us to look back and be thankful for those who have contributed to our lives, celebrate their contributions, and honor their sacrifices and memories.
Japanese on Maui. Hawaii was riddled with plantations after contact with the western world was made. There weren't enough Hawaiian people back then to work the plantations - it may have had something to do with Western disease ravaging their populations, and it may also have been because racist views cast Hawaiians as lazy and unfit for labor. Japanese, along with other populations around the world (Puerto Ricans, Portuguese, Chinese, Koreans, Filipinos, etc...) were brought in to work on the plantations. They were physically separated into camps to work on the plantations, paid varying wages to help make sure they didn't get along, and without the riches they had been promised, eventually settled on the islands permanently.
Anyhoo, Maui Matsuri is Saturday from 2PM to 7PM at UH Maui College. On Friday we'll have a Free Movie night on the same campus (Pilina Building) featuring 2 movies about Japan after the devastation of the triple disaster (earthquake, tsunami, nuclear) of March 2011.
A Hui Ho!
Let's start of with a little about me:
Location: Kahului, Maui, Hawaii
Hobbies: Taiko (Maui Taiko)
Interests: a little bit of everything
Food: Yes please!
Work: Imua Family Services
Community stuff: Maui Matsuri, Japanese Cultural Society of Maui
This weekend, you may want to check out Maui's annual Maui Matsuri. Matsuri translates into "festival". Maui Matsuri is the largest Japanese Cultural festival on the island. It kicks off our Obon season... which would take a whole other blog to explain. It would take another one to explain why Maui even has a Japanese cultural festival!
Short versions: Obon is when Japanese Buddhists honor their ancestor. There's a whole story about a monk who saw a dead person and it made him want to dance or something like that, but it's basically a time for us to look back and be thankful for those who have contributed to our lives, celebrate their contributions, and honor their sacrifices and memories.
Japanese on Maui. Hawaii was riddled with plantations after contact with the western world was made. There weren't enough Hawaiian people back then to work the plantations - it may have had something to do with Western disease ravaging their populations, and it may also have been because racist views cast Hawaiians as lazy and unfit for labor. Japanese, along with other populations around the world (Puerto Ricans, Portuguese, Chinese, Koreans, Filipinos, etc...) were brought in to work on the plantations. They were physically separated into camps to work on the plantations, paid varying wages to help make sure they didn't get along, and without the riches they had been promised, eventually settled on the islands permanently.
Anyhoo, Maui Matsuri is Saturday from 2PM to 7PM at UH Maui College. On Friday we'll have a Free Movie night on the same campus (Pilina Building) featuring 2 movies about Japan after the devastation of the triple disaster (earthquake, tsunami, nuclear) of March 2011.
A Hui Ho!
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