Ego

I am so not qualified to talk about one's ego, but that's the point of a blog isn't it? I get to throw up my own senseless drivel up here with absolutely no background whatsoever in the subject.

So what is "ego"? I could look it up on a dictionary site, but then so can you since you're obviously already on the internet. Well, I'm not going to do that. It's cliche. Sadly, I just noted that the little accent mark over the last "e" in "cliche" doesn't automatically appear. That, my friends, is ego. You see, I purposely noted that fact so that you wouldn't think I'm an idiot. I needed to project intelligence in order protect my ego - my image of self. Intelligence defended? check. Ego intact? double check. (double, because I am now informing you that I purposely did not capitalize for dramatic effect.)

I've always enjoyed discussion about ego. Our concept of self plays a crucial role in how we interact with the world, and life is so much easier when we just let that go. I'm in no way saying that I've accomplished this... I'm probably as far as you can get from it. It is interesting to observe it in action though. So many of our problems are of our own creation, though we often do our best to blame outside influences in order to protect this concept we have of ourselves as perfect beings.

While the creators of our religions may or may not have realized it, religion is one of the biggest exploiters of our ego in the world. Some teach us that people are to be cherished because we were created in the image of an all powerful God who protects us, grants us salvation, and guarantees our survival after death. To think that we are so central to the universe that a creator exists and purposely made and selected us as his/her/its chosen people is a supreme act of conceit. But that's the whole purpose of religion - to create this aggrandized ego in order to protect ourselves from one another. Basically - it's a way to scare us into being civil with one another. Hard to argue with that. Of course, it then prevents us from realizing what a gift life is. Imagine all of the actions that had to occur, from the Big Bang up until your conception, in order to make sure you were born. The odds of you coming out as you are are incalculable, and a much better reason to protect and cherish you, regardless of whether you hold the same personal views as me.

But ego is exercised in our everyday lives in much more mundane circumstances. Deciding how to present ourselves is a daily exploration of ego. Glasses or contacts? How, or even whether, to do our hair. Choosing what to wear. Deciding on what to cover, or not cover, our feet with.

The object, or purpose, is not to not care. The object is to care about others more, and about ourselves less. For with less ego, we experience more life, and we experience more joy. Imagine a person who is being introduced to a new dance. A young boy or girl might just jump into the experience, while those who have learned to protect their ego might try to observe, or even refuse altogether, so that they don't "embarrass" themselves. And the ego isn't involved only with learning new things, it continues on throughout our experiences. Veteran dancers showing off their moves can be just as concerned about their ego - fine tuning everything so they look good in front of a crowd - as the newbie. The joy comes in the experience, or just doing it - living it - and once you realize that you are, you've let the ego back in. Thinking "I'm doing this right - I've let go of my ego" is your ego coming back and latching on. Kind of hilarious if you ask me. Dancing though - "good" or "bad" - is hardly destructive. So how else can it affect us?

Ego gets in the way the most when we pay the least attention to it. The professional musician who pooh-poohs another person's performance because it doesn't conform to their personal ideals. The angry friend who boils over because someone hasn't spoken to them in what they've determined as "too long". The supervisor who allows their own personal judgement about a person override tangible evidence of that person's performance.

As I write that last paragraph I wonder how many people can identify with those situations. Next, I wonder how many will analyze whether or not they've been on both sides of those scenarios. And now... I'm humbled to think whether or not I truly turn the mirror on myself. I hope I do. Any of us can get caught in any one of those situations - we might currently be in one, or all, and not even realize it. The point is - our egos interfere with our lives on a daily basis. They have the power to make us miserable. The crazy thing is that it's ourselves that are making us miserable and that while we might be tempted to lecture other people about how they need to control their ego, much more would be accomplished if I just tended to my own.